I realize it takes a special kind of husband to accompany his wife to a pilates class. For a week, I’ve been asking my husband one question, “Will you try the pilates class with me?” He responds with some resignation, but then says “Ok, I will try it.” So this morning, my husband and I, took the class together, stretching our arms, crunching our abs, and doing strange exercises with a plastic ball. My husband didn’t complain about the exercises being “too” girly and was doing each exercise with a quiet focus.

            I look over at him and can’t believe he is husband enough to do this pilates class with me.  It surprises me initially, but then again, after fifteen years with my husband, it is these less heroic gestures that always impress me the most. As the years pass by, marriage is in the ordinary: making dinner, washing dishes, picking up your kid at school, taking out the garbage, and talking bills. You realize the days of late night movies, sleeping in, breakfast for two, and a couples getaway are things of the past.  It is a rite of passage for every marriage. You know it is happening, this evolution of your marriage, the magic and chemistry of those first days turning into a mature history as you share your ordinary moments together.

              A gesture of love becomes the spouse who takes care of the kids while you are sick, who listens to you complain about something or another, and picks up groceries when you absolutely don’t expect it. I know these gestures aren’t exactly the romantic butterflies of stolen moments, like kisses when no one is looking, that squeeze of the hand in the middle of watching a movie, or that glance you give your spouse at a party full of strangers. Couples still yearn for the nostalgia and chemistry of those early moments, that whimsical glitter filled feeling, but there are new places we look for it, like on an early morning in a pilates class.

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