Last weekend, my family and I attended a dinner party hosted by a friend. Her in-laws were visiting from India. After introductions, I made small talk with the father-in-law. He watched me while I made a dinner plate for my daughter. I asked her whether she wanted macaroni or pasta and tomato sauce or a cheese sandwich. As I did this, he said with a matter of fact voice, “Parents are so focused on running around their kids. In India, [...]
May 2011
As I get older I know less. There are more questions that remain unanswered. Doubt appears in quiet and noisy moments. On certain days, I throw my hands in the air, asking, am I ever going to push past the process? People say over and over again, embrace the uncertainty and the journey and that it is the process that yields the greatest reward. I am a little tired being stuck between A and B. And what do you do [...]
In recent days, the past has appeared in unexpected ways. Last week I walked across the street to converse with my neighbor. While talking to her, my gaze moved back and forth to our house. My neighbor noticed our door open, the slither of my slice of life peeking outside. She asked, “Who is opening your door?” I said, “Oh probably my mom or my dad are just wondering where I am.” In reality it was my daughter who stood [...]
Last night my daughter stared at the front top space of her mouth. She was mourning the loss of her tooth. As I watched her, she asked, “Is the space going to be there forever ?” I knew that her wide eyes depended on my answer. Without hesitation, I said, “Of course, in time, a new tooth will grow in that space.” Her question prompted me to contemplate the idea of space and our need to constantly try and fill [...]
My daughter is five. In less than three months, she will enter Kindergarten. The sad, pensive expression on her face on the first day of pre-school still echoes in me. As much as she talked about her desire to go to school, when I dropped her off, she shrieked and cried, begging me not to leave. “Please stay Momma, please stay. I change my mind. I don’t wanna go to school.” For thirty minutes, I lurked outside the window of [...]
This morning the inside of my mouth felt like a dry dirt road. I tried to taste something else, but it was too late. I sighed, attempting to digest what flashed on my iphone screen. The facebook update jolted me. I skimmed through my feed and one particular one caused my heart to pulsate. The impact of these particular words played in my mind like a chorus I wanted to forget: MRI found one tumor. Surgery and chemotherapy scheduled soon. My [...]
Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your won presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement.—-Alice Koller I sit alone in a crowded restaurant. On my right, there is a couple, who seem too careful during the meal. Her blond hair behaves even though the wind is blowing. She chews with her mouth closed and she laughs inside herself instead [...]
I remember waking up on Sunday mornings while my parents slept and I watched the Smurfs. I especially liked Papa Smurf. I remember eating my first kala-khatta gola (Indian version of snow cone) on the corner of a populated street in Jamnagar, India. I remember getting my eyebrows threaded for the first time at age twelve in India. I remember walking in the front door after school. On the table was my after-school snack, a baked potato with lots [...]
Welcome to my new home! Sometimes one change can catalyze renewal and rejuvenation. Opportunities happen. Doors begin to open. I hope turns to I will. And there’s nothing like feeling the texture of a new beginning. I’m excited to debut my new site today. The fabulous Sarah Fite of Momalom built this awesome site for me. I’m grateful for her insight and creative inspiration. In many ways, writing in this space offers refuge. A place I call mine, where I [...]
My daughter decided to give me her Mother’s Day Gift on Tuesday. When I picked her up from school, she hopped into the car with a stapled white bag. As soon as she buckled her seat belt, she said, “Momma, Happy Mother’s Day!” I tried to tell her Mother’s Day is Sunday, not today, but she insisted I open her gift. I asked her a few questions about Mother’s Day and what she thought it meant, and she said, “My [...]
