Ten years ago today, on June 30, 2001, I married my husband. I remember it rained at dawn, although the weather forecast indicated clear and sunny skies. The sun greeted us in the afternoon. My mom told me that according to Indian tradition, when the rain shadows the sun, it is considered good luck. Those words I still carry with me. My red and gold sari, my panetar, felt light on my body. I gripped it tight, one hand felt [...]
June 2011
What did I see? Only a few blankets draped over our dining chairs. What did my daughter feel? Happiness in its purest form. Last week my husband created a makeshift tent in our living room. He placed a brown throw over four chairs. On the ground, he created a soft cushion, layering blankets on top of each other. As soon as my daughter saw it, she said “It’s a tent, Daddy. Can we sleep in it?” So for two [...]
I am fiercely overprotective of my daughter’s schedule, wanting her to have free time to do what brings her a sense of joy and amazement. Last week, I watched as she jumped to do yoga with my husband. As soon as he laid out the blue green blanket, she asked, “Can I do yoga with you Daddy?” Of course, my husband couldn’t meet her question with any resistance. He spent almost forty minutes, teaching her various poses, downward [...]
This past Tuesday marked the beginning of summer. At approximately 1:16 p.m. the sun reached its northernmost extreme and appeared to stand silent and still in the blue and white pillows of the sky. Later that same afternoon we drove to the hospital to visit a good friend who gave birth to a baby girl. It required entering and exiting the doors of a wholly familiar place, something I automatically dread because it conjures images of my father and the [...]
Two days ago, I maneuvered my grocery cart down the aisle. I looked at the sliver of blue on the edge of the handle and as I glanced up the greeting card aisle lingered in the corner of my eye. My hands gripped the cart tight so that I retained my balance. As I paused, I saw young and old, women and men, all stand in unison, perusing the stacks of messages on pretty paper, wondering which Hallmark saying reminded [...]
I was running late to my first meditation workshop. Only five minutes after it started, but I was still late. This is not a habitual pattern for me; I am either on time or early to an appointment, meeting, or dinner with friends. The ache of time passing is something I sense and understand even through ordinary circumstances. This year, in particular, my daughter will enter kindergarten and I will inch even closer to age forty. This past week, I [...]
I’ve always loved watching sports. As a sixteen year old girl, I still remember Sunday afternoons, my sister and I would drive to the local Subway, order our veggie subs and slide the car into the driveway. It was a meaningless ritual, but one we shared for years. We opened the door, turned on the television, and watched the opening kickoff of the Dallas Cowboys game. My Mom and Dad would join in the celebration when the Cowboys scored a [...]
The gym is a place where there is ample opportunity to people watch. Everyone is flittering about, challenging themselves in the name of fitness. A woman is singing while walking on an incline on the treadmill, a man is dribbling a basketball on the court and little kids take advantage of the summer time by swimming. I’m at the gym because I love taking classes that are offered. This particular morning I am waking up to barbell strength, a free [...]
My daughter and I spent a quiet Friday afternoon together. While I worked at my desk in my office, I noticed my five year old writing in her notebook. She looked up at me, her brown eyes filled with caged exuberance, and said, “Momma, I wrote a story all by myself. I am a writer, just like you.” The significance of this moment penetrates me in ways I am unable to articulate. Waves of happiness, love and pride hit me [...]
The pink and purple spinning teacup ride at the amusement park creates an unprecedented anxiety in my insides. Even the slow mini-mine train ride strikes a terror that causes a rumble in my core. The background music plays as each person takes his or her seat on the ride. Light wispy tones vibrate in my ear and the beat almost pulls me into the highs and lows and spins of the mechanical contraptions. I stand back, not giving in to [...]
