Ten years ago today, on June 30, 2001, I married my husband. I remember it rained at dawn, although the weather forecast indicated clear and sunny skies. The sun greeted us in the afternoon. My mom told me that according to Indian tradition, when the rain shadows the sun, it is considered good luck. Those words I still carry with me.

My red and gold sari, my panetar, felt light on my body. I gripped it tight, one hand felt sweaty, while the other was completely cold. My aunt and uncle walked me down the aisle, while the photographer flashed his too white grin, snapping in succession, confirming in my mind, that yes, I was getting married. The wedding and reception revealed an array of bright colors, the chatter of people who came from India, Japan, and various places from the United States. When the priest tied the end of my sari to my husband’s wedding outfit, we walked the seven circles around the fire, the traditional way to exchange vows in an Indian ceremony.

Did I know that ten years ago today our married life would exist wholly in the ordinary?

Many of our days are uncomplicated and easy. In the morning, while he showers, I fix a berry smoothie for him. The blender churns, while the coffee maker awakes with a sigh. Before I take my first sip of java, my daughter appears, rubbing her eyes, clamoring for her cereal and milk.  In less than five minutes, I know my husband will walk into the kitchen with his familiar blue scrubs. This uniform comforts me. It signals the start of all our routines. His commute takes him to the hospital, while I barrel my way through the whirlwind of preparing my daughter for school  and saying to myself, I hope today is a good writing day.

There will be periods where you lapse into a steady rhythm, coveting the simplicity of  your days. And then before you even realize the marriage breathes. It inhales and exhales – through loss of loved ones, career changes, relocations, and the addition of new life. You learn what to hold on to and what to let go. And now I know that is the feeling that has carried the both of us.

My hope is the next 10 plus years pass in the same way. Happy Anniversary to my husband. With all my love.

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How do you mark anniversaries? What do you think about honoring the ordinary in your life or in your marriage?

Image by JMScott1MD

 

 

 

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