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“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.” – Eckhart Tolle

Struggling with my restless spirit is a permanent place in my personal ferris wheel. In this space, I’ve detailed my various attempts to meditate, attain that inner sanctum of “peace,” and fully embrace the alluding present moment. Entranced by the mantra of what’s next, my eyes tend to focus on the future. My tendency to make the future my puppet does not materialize. Instead, I find myself in the same place, running from one seat to the next in a familiar circle. It is an approach that leaves me rocking my head from one side to the next, unable to break the hypnotist’s spell.

But this season, something prevents me from running to the trappings of those old spokes. I think back to 2011 when I listened to words from Oprah’s last show where she poignantly stated, “Your life is always speaking to you. First in whispers… It’s subtle, those whispers. And if you don’t pay attention to the whispers, it gets louder and louder…What I’ve gleamed is whispers are always messages.” In the last few months, my whispers tug at my heart enough to provide it with a jolt that force me to stop slouching and to sit and stand straight with proper posture.

What I have observed in my personal kaleidoscope is how life can change in an instant. It is an overused cliché, but aren’t these the places where truth is often contained? I know of mothers and fathers battling illness in the prime of their lives. The year before they were not faced with confronting their mortality. Last week in California, I experienced my first earthquake tremor. Having the earth move proved so disconcerting that the feeling lingered for a few days afterwards. This past week a friend and her husband experienced an accident where a car flew in the air and landed on their vehicle, nearly missing them by a few feet.  Another friend spent 3 consecutive weeks in the hospital caring for her ailing daughter. All of these events occurred like dominoes falling in quick succession, one after another.

As a writer, I tend to find a glimpse of meaning in my observations and experiences and some might think that pattern is too intense. For me these flickers are whispers. I almost didn’t write this post, until I had a conversation with my Mom, who  said, “Don’t wait. Whatever you want to do, do it now.”

The season of now. That is all there is.

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