My fingers shook, the palms of my hand screamed sweat and anxiety. I cursed the dial-up modem of my computer. My mom was standing over my shoulder wondering what the digital screen would reveal. “Ugh, so slow. Not now. I can’t wait much longer.” I flipped the ends of my hair in a twist, somehow convincing myself if I continued to do this, the internet connection would move faster. Typing with purpose, I pressed on the keys fast until I [...]
Success
“And while it takes courage to achieve greatness, it takes more courage to find fulfillment in being ordinary. For the joys that last have little relationship to achievement, to standing one step higher on the victory platform. What is the adventure in being ordinary? It is daring to love just for the pleasure of giving it away. It is venturing to give new life and to nurture it to maturity. It is working hard for [...]
I’ve always loved watching sports. As a sixteen year old girl, I still remember Sunday afternoons, my sister and I would drive to the local Subway, order our veggie subs and slide the car into the driveway. It was a meaningless ritual, but one we shared for years. We opened the door, turned on the television, and watched the opening kickoff of the Dallas Cowboys game. My Mom and Dad would join in the celebration when the Cowboys scored a [...]
The pink and purple spinning teacup ride at the amusement park creates an unprecedented anxiety in my insides. Even the slow mini-mine train ride strikes a terror that causes a rumble in my core. The background music plays as each person takes his or her seat on the ride. Light wispy tones vibrate in my ear and the beat almost pulls me into the highs and lows and spins of the mechanical contraptions. I stand back, not giving in to [...]
As I get older I know less. There are more questions that remain unanswered. Doubt appears in quiet and noisy moments. On certain days, I throw my hands in the air, asking, am I ever going to push past the process? People say over and over again, embrace the uncertainty and the journey and that it is the process that yields the greatest reward. I am a little tired being stuck between A and B. And what do you do [...]
I was determined to fail. I convinced myself I was too old, not athletic enough, and just too scared to ski. For me, there was also the pressure of the ski lift. I am petrified of heights and although the ski lift was only twenty feet off the ground, it might as well have been as high as Mount Everest. So a week before, I told my husband I would “try” to ski, but in my mind, I had [...]
